I was sitting here bored and started thinking about the difficulties that would ensue if we reproduced simply by splitting down the middle. You know how you can cut flatworms down the middle and each half will grow back another half? Like that. There are physical issues, cognitive issues, and even legal issues that come to mind. Nature made a wise choice in having us multiply the way we do. I just thought I’d give some reasons why.

Starting with the physical reasons why our reproductive method is better than fission, let us start with the difficulties involved. As creatures with skeletal structures, we require use of our skeletons to keep us up. It would be damn inconvenient for walking while you are growing a new spine. At some point, each half would have to grow a new leg. Imagine the inconvenience of waiting for your digestive system to get sorted out. There has to be some disability time in all of this. We’d also have to regrow teeth or else there would be people with rotten teeth on one side and new ones on the other. Finally, we would not require genders as we’d all be the same.

Mentally, there have to be issues as well. First, reproducing half a brain can’t be that easy. Of course, the joke is most people don’t even use half their brain. The possibility of crossed wires would increase, in my opinion if we simply split in half. Then, there is an issue of memory. Would both halves have the same memories? If so, would all people share a common history? In cases of mental illness, wouldn’t that perpetuate with each division? Would the dominant side of the brain be determined by which side was the original one?

The biggest curiosity for me is property rights. How would the two new people with equal claim to property divide it? This goes for physical property and intellectual property. Would one half keep their name and the other choose a new one? Who gets to keep the job and who has to look for a new one? What about education? Who keeps the diploma? Simple organisms don’t have to worry about these things.

Splitting in half is no doubt much easier for simple organisms than it would be for us. I only mentioned items off the top of my head that pertain to physical, mental, and legal issues. I’m sure there are plenty other considerations I have not mentioned. Nature did us a favor in not making us reproduce that way. We like to think we can improve on nature; but perhaps in its brutal, messed up way, nature has it all under control. This is the stuff I think about when I’m bored.

If you’re bored, chime in with your ideas on what would be involved in this type of reproduction. What else do you have to do?