For the uninitiated,if we do step back and see the very "grass-root" level definition of EI (Emotional Intelligence) it says - and I quote "a self-perceived grand ability to identify, assess, manage and control the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups". Voila! So, EI as I learnt is not all about mere digits indicating some "quotient", but, about the state of mind!
Further research revealed that the human mind tends to behave in an entirely-different manner when the body builds a different environment around it. Now, what that means is that- If a person is depressed (low EI), then, if s/he manages to forcefully move into an environment that is filled with a high EI. Then, it seems, the EI of the depressed person is at a pseudo-high EI. Now, another rule says that if a person spends a more than 15.7 mins in an pseudo-high EI environment,then, s/he crosses a threshold barrier to reach a quasi-stable state of mind.
Now, that's revalation, I felt!. Man!, what if we fake ourselves into the quasi stable state? Wouldn't we be able to overcome depression? Wouldn't we be able to achieve a temporary control over our emotions?
So, what I thought was that one of the best techniques to temporarily control your emotions is simply to fake them. Feigning courage when you’re scared can make you feel more confident. Faking enthusiasm when you’re down can give you the extra push you need to keep going. Acting happy can get you out of a brief emotional slump.
Why would you want to fake your state? The emotional state you have at any particular time will have a tremendous impact on your effectiveness. Your speech will sound more convincing and effective if you’re speaking with confidence rather than trembling with nervousness. State control is essential for communication because people want to be around people who feel good. Even personal activities like exercise, work and reading benefit from the right emotional background. The way you feel determines how effectively you act.
And meanwhile, at the back-end all that you have done is to have moved into a quasi-stable state. Voila!, you have faked youself out of depression isn't it?
The idea of faking your state can seem a little like cheating. Aren’t your emotions there for a reason? But few people recognize how malleable their moment-to-moment feelings are. If you’re caught up in a lousy thinking pattern and someone gives you a small compliment, what happens? You’re entire world changes. As soon as your focus shifts from a small negative to a small positive you start feeling good.
In the long-run our emotional well-being is relatively smooth. But in the short-run emotions often fluctuate heavily. Depending on what you focus on you could feel the range of depression, anger, joy and pride all in the same day. Faking your state can’t change your life but it can change how you are responding right now.
And finally I felt that after all state change is not all about feeling good,but, it’s all about doing good.
A common mistake people make is that they want to change their emotional state to feel better. Remember that emotions are nothing more than chemicals and signals you are giving yourself. Your brain wouldn’t be giving them to you if it didn’t think you needed them.
The emotional part of your brain wasn’t designed to make you feel happy – it was designed to help you survive. Although most emotions are no longer matters of survival for the human species, your brain is still adapted to give you the emotions it believes will be the most effective.
Your goal with state control is to shift your emotional state into the most effective state. Trying to simply shift out of uncomfortable emotions because you don’t like them is likely to backfire. But shifting into emotional states you truly believe will be more effective can.
What makes an effective state differs depending on the situation. In social settings, an effective state can often be enthusiasm, fun or playfulness. Other situations might require courage, motivation or willpower. Trying to calm yourself down before a speech often doesn’t work because your brain wants you to focus. Picking an emotion like enthusiasm or being alert is more likely to hold.
So, dont make yourself come out of depression- fake it!